She eats up her sleep
Sucks away the darkness of the night
In the glow lays in a heap
untold stories of profound glory
Some might be a bit gory
But the joy of the conqueror lies strong
A tale in her eyes
Browned with age but sparkling none the less
Her countenance solid
Yet she had no face
She had consumed her fears
And produced many things from it
The wrinkles give an image
Of beautiful life at play
Both past and to come
The power of a warrior
Embarking always on a sailors journey
With the destiny of an adventurer
Her voice became a song
A rhythm with so much melody
From her story comes the source of joy
Nothing was ever a vain cause
I feel myself leaving
My fantasy world-
The place I had made
For all my impossible dreams to live
I am going away
Because I can handle it no more
What use is there to life
If the best moments are in your head
When I go,
I don’t know where to find peace
But surely it will come
If not,who cares?
This is going to be a more personal post. You see I’m not used to telling much about myself to the outside world. But I’ve decided to do more of it because my stories deserve to be heard. I’m writing this post with another person’s phone. Mine had suddenly stopped functioning. This all happened so suddenly. Even my memory card which contain so many things had got missing. I had no idea how or when. This happened in a day. I can’t use my laptop to blog because it has no internet connection on it. So here I am improvising with my mother’s phone. I’ve just arrived home for my holidays in case you are wondering.
Why am I saying all these? The upheavals of life is the reason why. There is a reason Buddhists are not attached to any person or thing. Things come and go, so total reliance on anything physical results to disappointment. Many times it is impossible to control the twists and turns of the future,making frustration is prone.
The test is in how you use the new challenges life brings. Will it be used for better or worse? The answer lies in the steps taken. See a challenge as a means to elevating your consciousness.
I remember downloading a “good luck” app on my phone yesterday. The app let’s you make wishes and I saw good reviews on it.Several people said that it made their wish come true. Me being myself,i downloaded the app to try it. I made several wishes including being happy,rich and successful.The happiness and success wish was a big one for me, as they both went together in my opinion.
Strangely enough after making all my wishes, I restarted my phone only for it not to work anymore. I wondered if the universe was playing a trick on me. The phone had been showing signs of faults but this was too sudden. I make wishes only for my life to become worse, right?After several rounds of trying to charge the phone and failing to get it to start,i gave up.I opened the phone and with frustration yanked out the two sim cards and memory card. I did this without looking at it.When I looked I only found my sim cards out,my memory card was no where to be found.This made me think if I had bad luck.
I wondered why that app did not bring good luck. I wanted happiness but I got sadness;success but got failure. But now that I think of it,maybe that was what was needed to be happy. Maybe I needed to be free from my phone addiction and doing the same things over and over again. Maybe I needed a fresh new start!It could be that the universe wants me to do as Buddhists do and learn not to be attached.Sometimes happiness and success comes in unexpected ways.
This might be a test of character or might be indeed good luck. It could be a time for leaving old damaging habits behind. I feel it’s a time to know my worth and know that it is not in a bunch of pictures, PDFs and files. Everyone should.Though I don’t encourage people to throw their phones away or delete all their stuff,the need for breaking bad repetitive habits is important. A time away from what you are used to everyday will give time for self evaluation.
Sometimes motivation finds you,sometimes you find it yourself.
What happens after an “had i know”moment?You will feel the pain and sadness.Tightening of the chest and the feelings of worthlessness.But you must not let it control you.Equip yourself with the right tools for survival.
- You are are stronger than you think:If you think that failure will destroy,you’ve underestimated yourself.You have also doubted the power of the humans psyche.We humans are very strong,and I’m not talking about physically.I mean that our fighting power is very high.We are not easily broken and when we are,we can always remold our selves again.The feat of human achievements by people like you and me,who have gone through failure but yet persisted is amazing.
- People are not judging you as harshly as you think and even if they are,those ones don’t matter:The illusion that is life and society formed by our minds controls us in more ways than we think.Most of our fears have been instilled on us by judgement.The people we fear judgement from are not perfect themselves,we should always remember this.Majority are too busy with their lives anyways to even care.Resting your happiness on how you are perceived or how less your failures are seen in the public eye is the key to failure.
- You are stronger than they think:The perception of how you are viewed by people is not the real you.It is just a shadow,a glimmer of the reflective surface which is humanity-a mirror;showing the self and all the biases.Only you can know your true potential.And only you as well can decide.There is no guru that can tell you your true potential,or determine if all will be well for you.All that is lies in you and your power to be strong when you need to.
- Should panic set in,relax your mind and unburden your soul to remain calm:Really,it’s not that hard as we make it.This thing called life.But if you make it feel hard,it will only get harder.The more you get used to ignoring the threat of panic and choosing peace,the better it will become.Remain calm as a choice no matter how you think it would be,it gets easier as you constantly let it be part of you.
Everything good will cogsme!