Life is a tale of no tales. A weird jumble of fun inconsistent meaning. When I think about what it means for one to live, I feel like bursting into laughter. Sometimes though the feeling is closer to tears. Life cannot be explained. Some might call it vanity, some call it our temporary home, some might say it is a tale told by an idiot… But life is so complexically – simple that it has no definition. But life is meant to be lived well and for discovery of meaning and purpose. Only when will discover this, will we reach the next stage of understanding ourselves.
– Yenzy oh
The noise has stopped
Fragrance of pain has been erased
As I trace the origin of my past
My finger, drawing figures in the sand
The cooing of the birds above me
As I try to follow the rhythm of the water
Which tries to mimic the swaying of the trees and leaves
Will you be of help to me today?
I had realized something a long time ago but remembered again recently. While registering for a PayPal account, I spotted something. A feature read that it was a good source of making payments for online shopping. Why this statement stood out to me was simple, in this world we live in there are always so many mediums in which we are told we can spend our money. Sometimes to even earn money from a venture you are required to spend some money. Money that some don’t even have. A good example of this would be WordPress and paid blogging before you start earning from your blog.
Everyone is always suggesting new ways for us to spend. It was ironical because the reason I was opening an account in the first place was as a means to earn money from the internet especially via foreign sources when possible. I was not interested in going on a foreign online shopping spree.
Nobody really teaches us how to get money to spend really, but society knows how to tell us of the various ways we can spend. Constantly we are bombarded with adverts of several different products. New products are created everyday as well, non stop. There is always a way in which a product can ‘change’ our mundane lives according to people of the marketing world , but most don’t really care if our lives get better, as long as they earn those crisp notes.This is why today , we have a lot of frustrated youths, the images of the numerous things they can buy contradicts to the level if information of how to generate wealth for themselves.
How to solve this problem?
Really I don’t know how such problem can be solved at large in this society. But I do know that individually we have power to resist whatever. We should strive to teach and learn how to gain financial independence rather than pursue the latest spending fads then complain on ‘the lack of money’. Our spending power should match the level of our financial freedom.
Just my thoughts
The ability to develop certain features to withstand different environments and conditions.Every living creature adapts.This is a skill all humans possess.In animals and plant life,the features are more physiological,while in people they are of a psychological/behavioral kind.
I have found out the answer I was searching for.What makes particular people in humanity trive and survive?Like most great answers,it is very simple.Adaptation.This is what influences growth.It makes a millionaire rich and it has the same driving force that enables the same millionaire to have no problem being one,even when all wealth is taken away.
When there are hardships learn how to adapt to it.When you are struggling with lack of money,adapt and grow.When money comes,get used to the flow and spend accordingly.Adaptation is an important life force.We are starting to forget this power we have inside of us due to recent occurrences.A constant rememberance is necessary to use our inbuilt magic worker.
I long for space
Where I can go be myself
Not contain what I truly feel,who I truly am
I crave for that longing to belong in someplace
Where I will be called a friend
And treated like a member
I want to be understood
To see someone hear me speak
And really listen
Nodding repeatedly without saying a word
Or much worse a criticism
A silent “I understand”
A simple approval
Transcends complexities, Community,communication,
I seek for a space
“Cheap fabrics,cheap meals”
“I deserve more than this!”
But what did you do for yourself?
Did you go out to work
Rather than sit and complain
Daydreaming of gold and silver
Craving for the riches of the earth
Even when it stared at you in the mirror
The underestimation of what you can do yourself
Without the nagging and begging
Or waiting for a guilty meal ticket
You deserve more,
only when you give more, in talent and practicality
I once said I hated poetry
Well,here I am writing one
I had told someone I preferred prose
Because I thought I was good at only that
It was the best form of art to me
The rich worlds of my characters…
Though prose would forever remain my first love
I have now fallen for poetry too
Funny how life works
If you don’t know what “INFP” personality type means, I suggest you check out the Myer Briggs personality typing out. There are 16 personality types according to the MBTI,and also some not so major sub types, eg: A and T categories, etc. As an INFP here are some things I struggle with on a daily bases.
The INFP is know as the dreamer/mediator/healer personality.
I sometimes find myself in a state of constant daydream. Can you believe it, if I say I have created a complete world in my head. This world is filled with people both imaginative and real, performing the functions that I assign to them. Many will not be able to fully comprehend this. My world is a perfect rich make believe land, but it has troubles too. It can be hard to snap out of it, but I can always clearly distinguish my reality from my fantasy. This can lead me to being lazy when I’m actually ambitious. The INFP contradiction.
Because of my type, I’m prone to depression and being down on myself. I see the terrible things going on in the world and I know it can never be perfect. This makes me feel sad. I absolutely hate injustice and everyday I hope I can do more. I stand with the underdogs than the ones on top because I believe they need my help the most. I am unconventional and it puts me into trouble many times… I don’t share popular views and it angers people. I stand firm in my believe which I have a conviction about, not letting anyone shake me.
I am an introvert. Some people misinterpret this to mean that I am stuck up. My resting bitch face doesn’t help either. They think I am just strange or act above them when I desperately tried to fit in. Well, at this point, I’m done with all that. I sometimes say I’m a proud loner or a happy wallflower, unlike some wannabe wallflowers- those who say that to seem emo. But I’m not alone, my rich mind and world is my company any where I go. Literature and art is my medium. The need to end humanities pain is my motivator. I let my INFP creativity guide me.
I need constant stimulation, I get bored easily so my mind is always spinning with ideas. I abhor useless small talk yet I detest those who have nothing deep to say. I once cut ties with someone whose mind had no imagination, let me do all the talking and had nothing to say about the state of the world. I detest shallow people. Those who have no ideas of their own. Nothing to say that comes out of their own contemplation but what the media has told them. Those that cannot observe around them. The ones that live to just exist. The energy vampires that frustrate you, without you knowing why.
I hate injustice and double standards. Just as I stand for what’s right, I can turn a blind eye if you complain of injustice, while you are the type to be cruel. I’m not a people’s pleaser, a butt kisser, a social butterfly- so I have problems. I’m very thankful I was born INFP but also burdened. Sometimes I just get angry, if I was God I would have ended the world a long time ago.
Some people have literally told me that I think in a weird way, which was bad to them. I remember two people telling me to change the way I think. Why will I ever do that, lol. I know that I am superb to the extent of causing people confusion. As a child, I was shamed for being ‘too quiet” in public by my family. I was mocked for the way my voice went three times lower when I wanted to buy things. But now that my voice is all the way powerful, it does not stop family folks from looking for a button to push.
My room is messy, I get anxious easily, I have social anxiety, Ii am probably more radical than anyone you’ve ever seen, I appear cold but have a deep well of feelings, I am creative, disappointed and bored with the school system, I read for knowledge’s sake, brave, unconvention, free and most of all Me.
I am a proud INFP,no matter the struggles
Watch out for part two
There were times I could not put my feelings into words
I would write about the times
Hard times and good alike
Those days were laughter was my light
And the moments when tears were my fuel
My motivation were part of the files
A story I told only myself
A life’s stew of inconsistencies
My fantasy and cravings
Words were my friends
The pen was my guide
No one knew how to comfort me better than my files
Crushing and blushing
It’s all embarrassing
Starting so shyly at one another
Feeling the need to each surrender
To the power of young love’s wonder
Distant ponderings on each of our current states
Imagining what both our heart’s dictate
Eavesdropping on conversations,to learn the delicate
It’s a sweet,sweet love
As it blossomed with intensity
Into something much more stronger