Choice – minute motivation

You always have a choice. It just may not be the one you like.

Source : anon

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Positivity – minute motivation

Take negative things that come your way such as insults others may hurl at you and make something positive from them.

Source: Unknown

The ethics of Euthanasia

I just came across a story about a young woman who wanted to end her life at the age of 17. She had been molested and raped at a young age. She wanted out on life since she could not bear with the pain. The government of her country is granting her request.

This made me ponder on the ethics of Euthanasia. Is it right to grant people legality to commit suicide? If so why? If not, why not?

It’s a very huge existential question with many answers. On the surface, it’s seen as absurd to grant such request. It’s like aiding a mentally disturbed person. However, the questions on the meaning of life reoccurs if thought about more in depth.

We can say that we aren’t born by choice. No one asked for our consent (at least to our physical earthly knowledge on things). A similar premise can be used for Euthanasia. Another angle comes in to play for supporting it. The questions are more on when it should be allowed. Is it when the person is very ill? Mental or physical pain? Old age? Boredom? Depressed?

I have no opinion on Euthanasia, as my moral compass is unsure in such things. However, my aim is to make you think.

How stoicism became my law of attraction

I’ve been someone who chased improvement constantly. Even if I found it hard to implement, I looked for it anyways. This is why when I met with the law of attraction, I felt like a lot of doors were open. I mean, it was way easy, just have positive believe systems, rewire your mind from negative thoughts and you will be set! That was what I thought. Oh boy was I wrong. It was not law of attraction per say that was wrong but the interpretation that we usually see.

Not everyone can follow such standards and even some who do, when they don’t see results after a while get disappointed, confused and pessimistic. I was one of these people. I tried listing to motivation youtube videos, subliminals, read books and articles on positive thinking… I even started to banish negative thoughts immediately they came into my mind. I was like, nope, not today satan. It was an endless battle. I saw positive results but not really on a massive scale. No great job, no visualized house in the Bahamas, no recognition. So I stopped. But I still wanted something to resonate with to keep me going daily. Maybe it might not tell me to visualize my dream car but just something.

I knew about Stoicism before and I had always liked it in some ways, though I never went deep in it. It had a realistic, no bull *hit way of looking at things. It was not linked to any spirituality, no secret worlds or distant realms to access first. It just was based on what you can do in the here and now. Daily. And even though I was someone always in love with the mystic, I loved that.

Recently, I went back to read more on stoicism. I was tired of being anxiety stricken, worried about tomorrow, worried about worrying about tomorrow, worried that my being worried was negative energy and inviting more problems for me. Then I realized stoicism was simple in regards to worry. They say in Stoicism “premeditatio malorum” which means visualize the worst. And I got my aha moment. That’s it! I have been too focused on thinking positive that the results had become counter productive.

Just a little background knowledge first, I’m an infp and a prolific daydreamer, so positive ‘visualization’ comes more naturally if I want. Unlike some other personality types that might have a problem with this. Thinking negative however, was easy, though not without emotional detachment. Negative visualization is like clearing the air in your mind. You’re putting all that can be messed up out there, acknowledging it, finding a solution and ending those thoughts then and there.

I noticed that with worry, the problem is fear and an uncompleted state of thought. If you’re worried about something, you’ve not really ended that thought. If you think , that subject should be closed from your mind, not lingering at the back of your mind. This is why i agree with premeditatio malorum. It seems unproductive but actually makes sense.

Stoicism says that we do may not have control of the external world but we do have control of our thoughts. Law of attraction says that our thoughts makes our external world. Both are right and work for their avid practitioners. Though it doesn’t seem so, but both stoicism and the law of attraction are similar in this way: Let go of power. Don’t be attached to the achievement of any goal. However, I think a principle devoid of pressure worked for me at this state in life, and might be just what you need right now.

Moving on from the past

One thing to always remember in life is that you can never go back to change the past, but you can change your future with actions from now. Forget the mistakes of yesterday you cannot change. As long as you live, as long as you’re alive, there is hope for success. Yesterday, last year, ten years ago, 20 years ago is the past. Even the last ten seconds is the past.

All you can do is learn from your mistakes from the past. It’ll help improve your future which can be 20 minutes from now, tomorrow,the next month, next year, 6 years later or 50 years. Or you can just keep waiting foolishly for a time machine. Or Just move on. Your choice.

The connection between anger and sadness

I call this the rage from pain

Many times our anger means a lot of different things. One of them is sadness. You see, there is a stage in life or a degree of bull* life has given you that transforms sadness to anger. When you feel an intense sadness with the hint of “how dare they”, it develops into anger. He cheated on you? You feel sad, and also angry. Because I loved him and how dare him, or because I am worth more than to have been with him.

Sometimes we are angry at life. Angry at people and places and concepts and ideas. Most times it is because we are sad. Maybe, the world has been quite disappointing and we had a lot of bad experiences. But the only way to express such depth is the boiling feeling of anger.

I’ll write more on this later on.

Narcissist abuse and the scape goat child

Narcissists are not normal people.

They are a special kind of evil that is born out of mental illness and an inferiority complex. This causes them to be delusional. And they take out this delusion on people in the family. One person suffers the most though.

This person is the scape goat child. The scape goat child is someone who cannot do anything right in the eyes of the narcissistic parent. They are usually the black sheep of the family. This is because they have learned that no matter what they do they cannot please the narcissist. But because we live in a world with emphasis on the family, scapegoats still have some sort of jaded relationship with narcissistic parents.

The scape goat child usually escapes with various sorts of mental scars that still shapes his adult views on life. The adult life is crafted by the cruel intentions of the narcissist. The scape goat child usually has self esteem issues and some form of anxiety. But there is hope. We are in charge of our life after all.

If love doesn’t work then try Stockholm syndrome

There is a thin line between love and hate they say…

Maybe that is much more true than we think. There are people who suffer from battering from their spouses and still claim to love them. Are they stupid? No they are not. We know they are just suffering from Stockholm syndrome. But how can one separate Stockholm syndrome from love? After all anyone can claim to love anyone.

The same thing goes for various victims of abuse from child abuse to sexual abuse. Many times our minds are not able to comprehend the fact that people hurt us. Especially people who are meant to love us. Even more so when they show random moments of kindness.

I mean if your parents treated you like trash but always bought you nice clothes, there is a tendency to feel a tad appreciate. People with the Stockholm syndrome tend to defend abuse with some acts of kindness rendered.

Do abusers utilize the possibility of Stockholm syndrome or is it just random. That is a question for another day.

Are many parent-child relationships Stockholm syndrome

Happy new year guys! I’m back!

Now, before you jump on me for the title, first here me out.

I have come across so many horror stories of adult children who have gone through so much childhood abuse. But… still have relationships with said parents. Even when they still abuse them in some way. It’s actually pretty common. Some even defend them, while some say that they forgive. But why? Why have a wishy-washy relationship with unrepentant tormentors.

I believe a reason is Stockholm syndrome. Parental Stockholm syndrome exists more than reported. If it is even a case of study. People defending or glossing over abuse in the name of family love is just exactly that. Which brings me to my blog post coming soon, “If love doesn’t work, try Stockholm syndrome”.

See ya soon.

For your existential crises – Fear

It is as common as regrets

The wrong choices our emotions make

Facing them is a goal along our lives journey

The fear you accept, can’t break you and probably won’t come true

If you question what makes our human existence real

This is it, fear is part of living

For your existential crises- Hunger

One thing that binds us all

is that we’ve all felt under

Whether it is of the rumbling stoma

Or that of a desirous heart

If you question what makes our human existence

Make sure you remember this

For your existential crises – Sun

Have you ever felt the warm sun

Enjoyed the cascade of the rays on your back

That my friend, is life

-Yenzy oh

*I’m introducing a series of clear profound words for those going through an existential crises. Stay tuned. Follow @yenzyoh on twitter as well, thanks.