Moving on from the past

One thing to always remember in life is that you can never go back to change the past, but you can change your future with actions from now. Forget the mistakes of yesterday you cannot change. As long as you live, as long as you’re alive, there is hope for success. Yesterday, last year, ten years ago, 20 years ago is the past. Even the last ten seconds is the past.

All you can do is learn from your mistakes from the past. It’ll help improve your future which can be 20 minutes from now, tomorrow,the next month, next year, 6 years later or 50 years. Or you can just keep waiting foolishly for a time machine. Or Just move on. Your choice.

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The connection between anger and sadness

I call this the rage from pain

Many times our anger means a lot of different things. One of them is sadness. You see, there is a stage in life or a degree of bull* life has given you that transforms sadness to anger. When you feel an intense sadness with the hint of “how dare they”, it develops into anger. He cheated on you? You feel sad, and also angry. Because I loved him and how dare him, or because I am worth more than to have been with him.

Sometimes we are angry at life. Angry at people and places and concepts and ideas. Most times it is because we are sad. Maybe, the world has been quite disappointing and we had a lot of bad experiences. But the only way to express such depth is the boiling feeling of anger.

I’ll write more on this later on.

Narcissist abuse and the scape goat child

Narcissists are not normal people.

They are a special kind of evil that is born out of mental illness and an inferiority complex. This causes them to be delusional. And they take out this delusion on people in the family. One person suffers the most though.

This person is the scape goat child. The scape goat child is someone who cannot do anything right in the eyes of the narcissistic parent. They are usually the black sheep of the family. This is because they have learned that no matter what they do they cannot please the narcissist. But because we live in a world with emphasis on the family, scapegoats still have some sort of jaded relationship with narcissistic parents.

The scape goat child usually escapes with various sorts of mental scars that still shapes his adult views on life. The adult life is crafted by the cruel intentions of the narcissist. The scape goat child usually has self esteem issues and some form of anxiety. But there is hope. We are in charge of our life after all.

If love doesn’t work then try Stockholm syndrome

There is a thin line between love and hate they say…

Maybe that is much more true than we think. There are people who suffer from battering from their spouses and still claim to love them. Are they stupid? No they are not. We know they are just suffering from Stockholm syndrome. But how can one separate Stockholm syndrome from love? After all anyone can claim to love anyone.

The same thing goes for various victims of abuse from child abuse to sexual abuse. Many times our minds are not able to comprehend the fact that people hurt us. Especially people who are meant to love us. Even more so when they show random moments of kindness.

I mean if your parents treated you like trash but always bought you nice clothes, there is a tendency to feel a tad appreciate. People with the Stockholm syndrome tend to defend abuse with some acts of kindness rendered.

Do abusers utilize the possibility of Stockholm syndrome or is it just random. That is a question for another day.

Are many parent-child relationships Stockholm syndrome

Happy new year guys! I’m back!

Now, before you jump on me for the title, first here me out.

I have come across so many horror stories of adult children who have gone through so much childhood abuse. But… still have relationships with said parents. Even when they still abuse them in some way. It’s actually pretty common. Some even defend them, while some say that they forgive. But why? Why have a wishy-washy relationship with unrepentant tormentors.

I believe a reason is Stockholm syndrome. Parental Stockholm syndrome exists more than reported. If it is even a case of study. People defending or glossing over abuse in the name of family love is just exactly that. Which brings me to my blog post coming soon, “If love doesn’t work, try Stockholm syndrome”.

See ya soon.

Don’t use your energy to worry

The problem with most of humanity is how we use our energy. Our energy is important and the most important tool for our progress in life. The way we use our energy beats motivation. This is because our energy is most accessible, even when trying to be motivated is hard. So how do most of us use our energy wrongly? We use it to worry!

Worrying is a staple for the world. It can be noticed in even the most organized persons. It surrounds those who wallow in fear of something, this position blocking their success. When starting a new venture the first acknowledgement should be that it’s quite easy to worry. Then decide that you don’t want to use your energy this way. Worrying literally does nothing but restrict you.

It’s best to use your energy to fix things that you’ll be concerned about. Fear does nothing for us, so choose faith. Faith provides the best results for those who focus their energy to that direction. If you pay attention, the most positive people get the best results. If you decide to never be deterred by all the things that could possibly go wrong, you’ll always succeed. A happier life is for those who use their energy right.

Scorpio rising and the search for self

I’m a Scorpio rising and I’m very well familiar with being alone. There’s always a quest for the Scorpio rising to go on alone, even if it seems non existence. There is a feeling of powerlessness that comes from the lack of control. It always seems like we Scorpio risings can’t control the tides of life. We feel tossed about, with no one to fall back on but ourselves. This makes a way for anger to grow. The anger is always there, lurking beneath the surface.

We may seem put together to the world, but the emotions we feel are volcanic. To further make things worse, we choose not to open up to any one. We are ready to observe from a distance. Even when we seem open, we’re always hiding. There is a wall, because we know that the world is not fair and it hurts. A Scorpio rising sometimes chooses to see the comedic side of life. After much hardship, things are less serious than they seem to others.

Always on the path on transformation, we Scorpio risings find the bright side. A Scorpio rising can feel cursed or strange. Life is a Pandora’s box that needs to be open. Or sometimes left untouched. There is a feeling that there is a need to exert ourselves more. Then it goes away, moving to the feeling to just let everyone and everything go.

The Scorpio rising is a mind sojourner, always seeking the truth. They say the biggest battle we ever fight is in our minds. This is more true for a Scorpio rising. We achieve more with the control of our mind. We begin to understand the madness of it all. And then the beauty, after the pain.

People may hate us at sight, or love us. And we become ok with this. Because we understand that we’ll be judged anyways by someone, somewhere. It is inevitable to feel the burden of others projection on us. But it’s less of a load when we understand. We are who we are and we are wonderful. Our masks are transformative just as our true selves.

To spank or not to spank

Recently, I find myself running into plenty of ‘hitting a child’ debate online. I don’t know why I see this topic so frequently. Maybe I attracted it with my mind to solve an already existing argument inside me. After a good use of both logic and emotion, I find out that there is no logical argument for hitting children.

The only significance of such ‘discipline’ is tradition. It is an act passed on. The supporters of hitting children usually follow predictable false doctrine. “It’s just discipline” .” It keeps a child from going astray”. “It makes a child know right from wrong” . “The Bible says…” Well, i can disprove all of these.

Firstly, do you think it’s ok, to hit a dog with a stick several times? Chances are, that you’ll say no. After all it is common knowledge that you don’t train a dog by hitting it. The dog just knows how to avoid you and mark you as an aggressor, if you do this. This lack of hitting does not make the everyday dog untrainable though.

You train it by instruction and practice. The same goes when you teach them new tricks. What about reprimanding it? The same set of instructions, my friend. Then why will hitting children train them? Studies show that hitting a child only teaches them avoidance. They do not learn how not to do the wrong they beaten for, but a temporary avoidance of that act. Basically, hitting does not work.

Why is a man who hits his wife a bad man? After all, she was disobedient in his eyes. It can be justified in the same manner, that the wife is probably younger than the husband and needs discipline. The man is the head of the home isn’t it? But a man hitting his wife is called domestic violence not good old discipline. You know why this is?

Another lamentation is that kids that aren’t hit will be spoiled. Well, that’s a big lie. For the number of hit kids who do well in life the number is well matched to unhit kids who do great as well. So, you may ask, how then do we discipline children? With sensible, rational and more effective methods.

Taking toys from a child acting out for example. The child learns that they will be deprived from good things in life if they behave in a troublesome manner. He learns a lesson and the toy is returned then. Child always slams the door when angry? Remove the door. Or tell the child to close the door slowly 20 times. These methods are proven to work, than the infamous hitting.

Children are different and while one child will be able to disassociate from the traumas of being hit, another might internalize it. Hitting has been shown to cause anxiety and panic in the future of many children. A child that is naturally introverted can become less sociable and keep to themselves. A child is an human being. And yet pets gets treated better. In many countries, like mine, hitting a child is legal, in fact it’s a ‘necessary’ tradition.

The questions of when hitting turns to abuse comes to mind. When is it ok to hit, how, when, age, etc. Many hitters say a child should not be physically have wounds from it. If the child is hurt then, is it now considered abuse? What age is hitting a child ok, from age 2? 3? Where should the child be hit? How many hits are ok? How many hits are too much? They say it’s bad when you hit from anger and not from ‘love’. How do you know when a parent decides to hit from anger?

In many countries, it’s ok for a teacher to hit a child too. Does the teacher hit from love? or just from mere frustration? What ‘crime’ is worthy of hitting? Failing to respond fast enough? Coming home late? failing a test? Forgetting to wash the dishes?

I remember a mother who beat her child to death for not learning to write fast enough. She went to jail. That was discipline, right? If hitting a dog will not teach it anything but perpetuate animal abuse, why hit a defenseless child? Remember that culture changes. In the past, it was ok for British husbands to beat their wives. There was even a time table for it. But change brought about an end to the support of that abuse. The similarities between such abuse and hitting a child, is that the one with the most power uses it non positively against the weaker.

Some people would justify beatings they had as children and laugh like it was comedy. This is because most times abused people choose not to recognize the pain and mask it with humour. Some give their lives as evidence, overlooking the facts that state the opposite. If you’re doing we though you were beaten as a child, imagine if you had proper discipline instead. You’d be more okay!

It is a thing for some parents to beat their children and hug them afterwards, explaining while they were beat. That’s not good either. One lady recounted how her father applied balm on her after hitting her. That’s not heart warming. It just shows lazy parenting. It’s like an adult throwing a tantrum. It says, I will physically hit you to avoid using my brain to find a suitable punishment. It also encourages abuse. It’s like telling someone that they can beat their spouse and apply balm on the wounds later.

Even those who grow up knowing hitting their spouse was wrong, still carry the scar. Come up with creative punishment that is actually effective. A girl always ran away from home and did this till adulthood. She was beaten as a child, her hair cut off, but that didn’t keep her from continuously running away. A fine example of failed parenting. I’m sure her parents didn’t try to find out why she had the constant urge to leave home. But hey! Hitting children raises decent members of the society!?

Wrong. How many inmates and criminals have you seen? I’m sure more than half of them had a good share of childhood beatings. Still, they became crooks. A child that is naughty will not change from being hit. Another child that has not been hit might be naughty too, if no discipline is enforced. Hitting does nothing for a child that kicking a dog would.

Hitting has some results similar to too strict parenting. You know those parents that claim ownership of their children’s present, past, future, soul, body, spirit, etc. It renders a child with repressive behaviors. Some might appear : rebellious when free or withdrawn and unable to function one their own. But that is another topic.

Now, the Bible is famous for using paradox, illustrations and hyperbole. Thus the spare the rod thing. Also note the culture of the Jews of the time. It is compulsory for orthodox Jews to wear hair covering, but you don’t as a Christian. Also men wore gowns then. But hey, I’m just saying. Don’t be frustrated with the high rates of violence, Marital abuse and unchanged children, if you choose hitting after all.

The support of societal degradation

Some things are just ok, while others aren’t and we seem to know this well. Except when we get confused with the blurred lines. Due to television and a mass brainwash of the world population, we begin to support things we otherwise would not. We find ourselves rooting for the bad guy in the movie and we get shocked with ourselves. When did we begin to blur the lines between right and wrong?

I recently watched vampire academy, a movie that came out in 2014. This will be our case study. And I was shocked by how I had normalized appalling things. First. it was an Harvey Weinstein movie. Second it was a movie about people who sucked blood, vampires. Also, there was a romance between the underaged I7 year old character (the lead actress, though older in real life?) and a 38 year old man. I’m sure for the vampire part, you’d say that I’m too critical, because movies about vampires are a regular thing.

However, a subtly hinted pedophilic relationship is another thing. Though both characters restrain themselves, they finally give in. To the uncritical eye, it might not seem like much, because they can just wait till she’s 18,right? Though he is 20 years older than her. The main issue has to do with the insinuations each of these concepts represents than the actual depictions. As a fiction writer, I understand how the imagination brings weird things into a beautiful light. However, they seem to be a purposely normalization of that which isn’t.

For example the constant representation of vampires on our screens, to the extent that a vampire film is not considered horror. In the past, it doesn’t matter how much human attributes had been assigned to the vampires, the movie was still horror. But now blood sucking beings are just a walk in the park. If such inappropriate relationship is considered ok, what about a 14 girl with a 30 year old man, who is to say that isn’t ok then? There was one thing I noticed with the normalization of these concepts. They were done in an attractive setting, with conventionally attractive people.

Therefore people see these and forget their feelings of disgust and fear. They fall for the lead mans hotness. and the lead lady’s attractiveness. After all a society that worships sexuality will be blinded by looks. So the girl and guy look good, the girl is given a mature air, so why not? They looked great in the kissing scene where he was under a love charm that influences the ‘love’ he already has for her. He rips her dress and they both have fit bodies. They don’t have sex but the attractiveness of it removes our minds from a 38 year old man and a 17 year old girl. Another line blur is the transformation of an innocent, good vampire into one of the inhuman ones. Are we to care then when she’s killed?

This movie is a good example of the use of elegance and beauty to support, well, sin. To keep up with appearances they divide the vampires into three categories. Of course there is a bad type. These type are void of emotions or any humanity. These makes them only killers. Definitely,we don’t like them. And the illusion of ‘bad’ is complete. The 17 year old character also has another student crush on her. She does not tell him off, so it’s a love triangle situation.

Another theme, a royal bloodlines of blood drinkers, do I need to say more?

What I’ve noticed about famous sun in libra people

Libra’s are known as the always pleasant people of the zodiac. After all they are ruled by venus, the planet of love and pleasures. But what I’ve noticed is that libra’s have an hidden side. This side might not be noticeable though.

Many libra’s usually do a 180 on their character when they gain fame. They become less nice. Or at least they actively put an effort in not being nice. It’s not by being bitchy but by creating a persona of authority.

These can come out too strong at times. Take celebrities like Simon Cowell. He is known as the Devil’s advocate in that talent show program. He is the one that is not afraid to be blunt or say that “not nice” thing (that you were probably thinking). I’m sure his personality is different in private life. Instances like these can be attributed to other libra sun celebrities, like Kim Kardashian.

Others come into my mind, even a libra sun in position of power that I know personally. They create this purposeful unniceness after achieving considerable professional success. It’s like a defense mechanism.

It’s like they’re trying not to appear soft in order not to be crushed in the professional world. Another interpretation can be that such phenomenon occurs because they are air signs. Air signs are more rational than emotional right? The combination of such a pleasing planet like Venus and an intellectual element like air sure creates an interesting sign.

Oh- And I’ve noticed they give this air to those of a lower position to them, not really to their peers.

A sudden clash of thunder, it’s time

Only if your meditation has brought you a light that shines in every night will even death not be a death to you but a door to the divine. With the light in your heart, death itself is transformed into a door, and you enter into the universal spirit; you become one with the ocean.
And unless you know the oceanic experience, you have lived in vain. Now is always the time, and the fruit is always ripe. You just need to gather courage to enter into your inner forest. The fruit is always ripe and the time is always the right time. There is no such thing as wrong time.

-Osho

Perception is reality 

‘What you see is what you get’ can’t ring any truer. Perception of things is what makes up our version of reality. Reality is not real, but a crafted concept from the imagination of our individual thoughts. We make our lives pleasurable or sad by what we choose to see and what we choose to ignore. Most times we ignore the obvious good and focus solely on the bad. How then do we expect our reality to be pleasant? When we see others succeeding and we react with jealousy or chalk it up to luck; how then do can we expect good fortune?

Life can be bitter even for a man with the latest cars, clothes, popularity and splendor. Physical reality has no influence to what we focus our energy on. Energy is the key to life and the way we use it is very vital to our existence. We attract what we put our energy into.

Let’s put our energy in the right perception and welcome the best reality.

Why money isn’t everything, but power is

If I tell you money is overrated, I’m sure you’ll look at me like I’ve lost my mind. But from looking at how the world worked and still works, you will understand what I mean. If the people in power who mint and create money suddenly decide to stop, what will happen? Will the rich still be rich? That was why in the past, the truly wealthy had their wealth measured by gold.

The Gold standard was key because it was considered one of the most valuable assets. It was even more important because it was rare and was of a limited supply. The ground has to be dug to search for gold. These reason made it a mark of wealth. The same goes for silver and the not so respected bronze. Diamonds were a sign of wealth too (basically most natural resources), but gold, silver and bronze were key trading (buying and selling) materials.

In some places, cowries were used by the masses to buy and sell. Cowries were also natural to the earth, but they were not precious enough to make one rich. And of course the famous trade by barter. By observing trade by barter, you’ll see how money just acts as an exchange of value. The ancient ones gave something they had for what they wanted. For example, someone who wanted to buy a small/ medium plot of land would negotiate with the seller on what was needed in exchange. This kind of big transaction was mainly done by the rich and the exchange was likely gold or silver. But a lower value person who lacked gold might suggest given 5 rolls of cotton and 100 potatoes. If the buyer and the seller agree on this value of exchange, the sale is made. But this was stressful many times, as the seller might not want what the buyer has. This lead to the buyer doing barters with other people to get what the seller values.

So basically money is an affirmation of someone’s value. What does this person have that can make me have what I want? But money is a controlled supplied entity, unlike gold. And even the latest buzz in the financial field, Bitcoin (and other crypto currency) is still a controlled supplied entity. Though Bitcoin might have a fixed number in existence and cannot increase, it still isn’t gold. The nature of the coins are just like Fiat money – Absolutely changeable and unstable. It can crash and increase depending on how the strings are pulled.

Now to the other part of the title “…, but power is”. Defining power in the first place is a complex subject. It has so many definitions and sometimes blended in with authority. At the end of the day, power is simply the ability to control. Whatever controls someone has power over the person. Let’s say I have a boss, he tells me when to go and when to come. He has power over me. If I’m susceptible to being controlled by my emotions, it has power over me.

Are all powers bad? No. And vice versa for the opposite question. The people who created the system of money have the power. The people who created the system of crypto currency have the power. Well, God created Gold and we all know of His power. Take note that I am not condemning money ( As me and money attract and like each other), but rather the thinking of forgetting that the world is ruled by power.

No, the world is not ruled by money like you’ve been made to think. Because if money is a show of inherent value, obviously those who have power will have it. It’s like a bird having feathers. That’s easy, because all you need to do is be a bird, feathers are part of the bundle. There can be a country today that solely decides not to have a currency and it can be a wealthy nation. It’s just that the powers that be will not like it and try to suppress them. Why does the world all follow the US dollars? Even when pounds and Euros have an higher value. Power. That’s to show you how people follow power first.

Actually when people say that they need money, they mean something else. Most times, it’s many other things. They might mean that they want to enjoy the luxury of wealth. Or they want to have new clothes, visit another country, build a house, buy books, etc. Money is just a synonym of ” Enough value to have what I want”. What about credit cards? Those pieces of cards that lets you get stuff free that you have to pay for later. That is still perceived value. That money does not currently exist for you, but you are allowed to buy while your value decreases. You have to pay back, or you get into debt as a valueless person.

So, value is synonymous to power as money is synonymous to wealth. The unwise chase money as a means to no end and do not get much of it. While those who understand the concept and creation of money, get as much of it as they want. This is because they strive for power, as much as they want to acquire. Then money cannot control them, but works for them. And if money turns to rubbish today, it will not affect their wealth.