I long for space

Where I can go be myself

Not contain what I truly feel,who I truly am

I crave for that longing to belong in someplace

Where I will be called a friend

And treated like a member

I want to be understood

To see someone hear me speak

And really listen

Nodding repeatedly without saying a word

Or much worse a criticism

A silent “I understand”

A simple approval

Transcends complexities, Community,communication,

I seek for a space


INFP struggles-MBTI

If you don’t know what “INFP” personality type means, I suggest you check out the Myer Briggs personality typing out. There are 16 personality types according to the MBTI,and also some not so major sub types, eg: A and T categories, etc. As an INFP here are some things I struggle with on a daily bases.

The INFP is know as the dreamer/mediator/healer personality.

I sometimes find myself in a state of constant daydream. Can you believe it, if I say I have created a complete world in my head. This world is filled with people both imaginative and real, performing the functions that I assign to them. Many will not be able to fully comprehend this. My world is a perfect rich make believe land, but it has troubles too. It can be hard to snap out of it, but I can always clearly distinguish my reality from my fantasy. This can lead me to being lazy when I’m actually ambitious. The INFP contradiction.

Because of my type, I’m prone to depression and being down on myself. I see the terrible things going on in the world and I know it can never be perfect. This makes me feel sad. I absolutely hate injustice and everyday I hope I can do more. I stand with the underdogs than the ones on top because I believe they need my help the most. I am unconventional and it puts me into trouble many times… I don’t share popular views and it angers people. I stand firm in my believe which I have a conviction about, not letting anyone shake me.
I am an introvert. Some people misinterpret this to mean that I am stuck up. My resting bitch face doesn’t help either. They think I am just strange or act above them when I desperately tried to fit in. Well, at this point, I’m done with all that. I sometimes say I’m a proud loner or a happy wallflower, unlike some wannabe wallflowers- those who say that to seem emo. But I’m not alone, my rich mind and world is my company any where I go. Literature and art is my medium. The need to end humanities pain is my motivator. I let my INFP creativity guide me.

I need constant stimulation, I get bored easily so my mind is always spinning with ideas. I abhor useless small talk yet I detest those who have nothing deep to say. I once cut ties with someone whose mind had no imagination, let me do all the talking and had nothing to say about the state of the world. I detest shallow people. Those who have no ideas of their own. Nothing to say that comes out of their own contemplation but what the media has told them. Those that cannot observe around them. The ones that live to just exist. The energy vampires that frustrate you, without you knowing why.

I hate injustice and double standards. Just as I stand for what’s right, I can turn a blind eye if you complain of injustice, while you are the type to be cruel. I’m not a people’s pleaser, a butt kisser, a social butterfly- so I have problems. I’m very thankful I was born INFP but also burdened. Sometimes I just get angry, if I was God I would have ended the world a long time ago.

Some people have literally told me that I think in a weird way, which was bad to them. I remember two people telling me to change the way I think. Why will I ever do that, lol. I know that I am superb to the extent of causing people confusion. As a child, I was shamed for being ‘too quiet” in public by my family. I was mocked for the way my voice went three times lower when I wanted to buy things. But now that my voice is all the way powerful, it does not stop family folks from looking for a button to push.

My room is messy, I get anxious easily, I have social anxiety, Ii am probably more radical than anyone you’ve ever seen, I appear cold but have a deep well of feelings, I am creative, disappointed and bored with the school system, I read for knowledge’s sake, brave, unconvention, free and most of all Me.

I am a proud INFP,no matter the struggles

Watch out for part two

Revel in the weirdness you possess 

One of the things killing human potential is the need for conformity in the so-called individualistic world of today.The other is the judging of those that do not comform to the norm.People begin to choose the truth of their peers,strangers and the media more than what lies deep in them.Having an opposing view from the norm has a lot of labels that come with it,one of them is “weird”.The question is,why is wierd considered negative?Why is it whatever that does not follow sheeple mentality is seen as bad and to be ridiculed and avoided?Apparently being the party pooper makes you the villain of the story to the cool ones.

This causes those that do not blend in to be ostracized by the “normal”ones,who are very proud of their normalcy.By the way there is no spectrum for what normal means.Names like “socially awkward” ,”shy”,”uncool”,”introvert” are considered to be shaming and an illness to be corrected or looked upon with pity,when in fact it is not.Living in a world where people have to identify with a group in other to feel self worth creates mass-produced individuals with the creativity of a peanut.The creative ones are the wierd ones.And the most creative ones are the weird ones that embrace their weirdness.

Writers,artists and creators are grounded in their weird side.They use this in their creative works.If you have studied great artists and their history,the linking pattern is always wierdness.How can one be sane to produce wonderful work of arts based on a non existent world that can only be grasped by the powerful tools of the creative mind.Most of the successful people that have led the world and are celebrated today are weird individuals that did things normal folks would call crazy or “fools talk”.

It is the people labelled that went on to do amazing things.Those avoided by the “in groups” usually have amazing ideas to share.The ones tagged as unapprochable and strange by the normal ones are usually the most interesting,original,fresh people that are around.The quiet ones contain within themselves loads of self improving secrets,ideas and wisdom that they keep to themselves, only to be shared to the ones who accept their wierdness or to the “normal”ones later when they become successful in any field they choose “out of the blue”.The differences weird people have separates them from the mediocre.Be wierd!

So revel in your weirdness for you are special,no one can be like you and you shouldn’t want to be like anyone else.

The pain of being an empath

Basically being an empath is great and all until…

I feel every of their emotions

I understand all their pain

I carry their emotional burden while still carrying mine

The world is on my shoulders 24/7 and the weight is tiresome 

But whats worse is that I cant do anything about it

I can’t look away neither can I heal everyone and everything

These are the words that come to my mind everyday. But though I don’t dwell on it doesn’t mean it isn’t a fundamental aspect of my subconscious. This I am sure is what happens to an empath who becomes overloaded with junk emotions. It is draining to be programmed as a matyr like person because of the way you easily sense things. Absorbing all the energy and emotions when you walk into a room can be intensely scary. The bad and sad vibes tend to be more stronger than the good vibes and those are easily picked up.

People don’t make things easier,because when they discover your weak point as an empath, they dump their emotional garbage with you. You read articles on the web and you wish it was possible to jump out the window, fly like a super hero and save the day. Yes it is hard being an empath in this world. An empath knows it is not possible to save the day but that does not make all those intense feelings go away. Those are part and parcel of an empath. The only thing that can be done is learning how to control them. And that is another journey on it’s own…

 Read, read, read – Advice from this introvert

If you want to be successful at anything-read, so said many wise people. This is one sure way that never failsRead what interests you and what does not interest youthey both play a part in the making of a genius. Not only does reading open your mind to new ideas, it exposes you to situations of the current world. This is why most introverts read when they feel an inability to mingle with the ever talking crowd. They gain both knowledge of socialtal cues, ideas and skill improvement from reading.

Humanity is in books as well. That’s why so much excitement is felt by reading a good novel. Because you are experiencing life as it can possibly be, which is very thrilling and awe-inspiring. You can also understand the psychological aspects on how humans function. This understanding, if you possess it, will help you greatly in life.

As an introvert, reading is my source of escapism too.When the stress is high from too much sensations and too much people, I read. Going into the world of words is freeing and peaceful. There is no judgement there as you absorb the letters. There is always something fun to read about. Your imagination soars as you capture the story, emotions and thought put into the writing.

Also for business and formal writing. The market of the world is made known to you by your constant reading. The business world changes day by day with no warning- except for those who read. To grow in this information flowing world of today, reading is compulsory. If you cant readyou surely do not have what it takes to be successful in business.

A lot of ignorance is removed by reading. For people who refuse to read, the truth remains hidden from them. Life opportunities would pass them by because they do not know vital things that would bring them success. The world today as so many possibilities, just as it has so many distractions. This is why there would always be the 80/20 principles.

There are the 20% who would remain rich off their intellect, planning and knowing how to get what they want- via reading; and there would be those 80% whose physical strength, stress and sweat earns them their peanuts. The members of the 1% would remain in their position because of the information they choose to digest. Now don’t tell me that these people are just lucky to be born into good families, because self made millionaires of this century belong in the 1%. This people just choose to do all the useful things, one vital of it being reading.

And remember there are several types of “reading”. Reading articles on the Internet is also reading. So remember as long as you get valuable information or imaginative creativity, you’re good. Don’t fret, take baby steps and forge your path.

Read when you are bored- switch off that television.

Read when you are happy.

Read when you are sad.

Read when you are mad.

Read when things go bad.