Aftermath of situations that seem like failure

What happens after an “had i know”moment?You will feel the pain and sadness.Tightening of the chest and the feelings of worthlessness.But you must not let it control you.Equip yourself with the right tools for survival.

  • You are are stronger than you think:If you think that failure will destroy,you’ve underestimated yourself.You have also doubted the power of the humans psyche.We humans are very strong,and I’m not talking about physically.I mean that our fighting power is very high.We are not easily broken and when we are,we can always remold our selves again.The feat of human achievements by people like you and me,who have gone through failure but yet persisted is amazing.
  • People are not judging you as harshly as you think and even if they are,those ones don’t matter:The illusion that is life and society formed by our minds controls us in more ways than we think.Most of our fears have been instilled on us by judgement.The people we fear judgement from are not perfect themselves,we should always remember this.Majority are too busy with their lives anyways to even care.Resting your happiness on how you are perceived or how less your failures are seen in the public eye is the key to failure.
  • You are stronger than they think:The perception of how you are viewed by people is not the real you.It is just a shadow,a glimmer of the reflective surface which is humanity-a mirror;showing the self and all the biases.Only you can know your true potential.And only you as well can decide.There is no guru that can tell you your true potential,or determine if all will be well for you.All that is lies in you and your power to be strong when you need to.
  • Should panic set in,relax your mind and unburden your soul to remain calm:Really,it’s not that hard as we make it.This thing called life.But if you make it feel hard,it will only get harder.The more you get used to ignoring the threat of panic and choosing peace,the better it will become.Remain calm as a choice no matter how you think it would be,it gets easier as you constantly let it be part of you.

Everything good will cogsme!

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Top 5 ways to defeat fear

  1. Stop overthinking:Overthinking magnifies your fears.If you have thought about doing something,then go for it without dwelling too much in thought.Not only will over thinking stop you from actualizing your goals,it feeds the fear.It also keeps people who engage in this from being in an active state of doing.
  2. Do those things that normally frighten you:There are two methods to this:A deep-yourself-into-it’s method and a slow and steady approach.Both of them work,you just have to find out which would suit you more.If you fear talking to strangers,do that.Either you suddenly put in effort to talk to strangers per day,or you slowly try and initiate and keep conversations with strangers.
  3. Do not listen to the inner voices:It‘s easy to fall a prey to the deception of our minds.When this happens we call it self sabotage.It is the pattern of badly wanting something but yet the inability of taking known positive steps to fulfilment of those goals.Everyone has those “doubters”(as I would like to call those voices)always criticizing us and demoralizing us.The goal is neither to argue or fight with this voices.The goal is to not respond and let them naturally become mute.Be calm.Equanimity is the key word when dealing with them.
  4. Avoid rationalizing:Ignore the feeling of having to defend your fear.Fear should not be explained as it is irrational and emotional.It is a defense mechanism to what you feel you can’t control.Rationalizing strengthens the fear as you justify it and gives it a reason for existence.
  5. Take a step:Practice makes perfect is not a cliche.The more you do something,the better you become.The same goes the other way around,hide from something-the worse you become.Open yourself to possibilities(no matter how cliche that sounds as well).It might not exactly be as perfect as you had imagined but it is still a step.All growth means progress.Make sure you advance daily.

      Don’t apologize for what you can’t control

      I once saw this quote:”You are not everyone’s cup of tea”.This is very much true.One life lesson everyone will have to learn is that people’s opinions of you are subjective and therefore,not important.If you ever want to be live happily,this is a fact you must accept.Because if we do not come to terms with this,we will be our own biggest problem.
      We as humans have learnt to place to much value on how other people see us,even strangers who do not really know anything about us.

      We try to please everyone,when we don’t know this salient lesson we are meant to learn.
      This brings hurt,shame and guilt to us.We begin to question the way we are when it does not fit with other people’s ideals.We start feeling sorry for being ourselves and begin to internally apologize for not being another person’s version if “good enough”.You should not care of people’s thoughts on you as long as you do not engage in evil.Living a free life requires you to be independent of being curiosity of thought process of others about you.

      When thinking of myself,I begin to see that I had apologized enough for being an introvert.It dawned on me that I have nothing to be sorry for,that people’s perspective of me will always come from their biases.Sometimes I have let people’s subjective opinions on me come in the way of my own happiness.And you know what,at the end of the day,the opinions i choose to dwell on gave me nothing of additional or positive value but took away much positivity from me.It breeds negativity.It’s like constantly fighting a war in your head,which you know that you can’t win.

      There’s nothing shameful in being your own version of perfect.Never be ashamed of your uniqueness!

      Sometimes we search too much

      We as humans are always on a never ending adventure to figure out what our purpose in life is,to know the truth of our existence.We ponder and question various sources and the most philosophical of us wait for a signal,an acurate meaning that will resonate with us.Finding out that such does not truely exist,some might become broken individuals,after chasing a question with no exact answer.Finding nothing to be worthwhile since nothing answers those deepest questions buried in the minds.

      But why did we go on this journey in the first place.Towards what end?What epiphany did we expect to get.Usually what is seen as the end result is not as euphoric as imagined.The verywhyof our being and existence was lost in a maze of unanswerable questions.We had forgotten to look within ourselves for the inner vault of wisdom we seek.The wisdoms that no book can teach,though grows with the usefulness of information we acquire.The feeling of completeness and satisfaction no search can give is inside of us.We had thought that “the search” is what would complete all we are or everything we wanted to be,neglecting the growth of our inner self-the true essence of our being.

      Sometimes we search too much.We build castles in the sky and let unicorns roam the milky way.We digest the knowledge of a thousand sages and forget our own truth.Quoting the words of a thousand philosophers yet with no philosophy of our own.Living our life according to the laws of a man,who existed in a different state of mind,in a different time and a different purpose.Our dreams,another person’s.We begin to live other people’s lives,or try to carve our destiny without knowing exactly what we want deep down.

      Once you stop looking for what you want,you will find what you need-anon.

      Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything.Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you,so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.

      Summersaldana.com

      Sad poetry on lost hopes

      Gerbils wheel

      She,always getting caught in the gerbil’s wheel

      The wheel,a constant loop of pain and sorrow

      Always on a constant replay

      She lay out her emotions bare but no one there to see

      Her heart’s on her sleeve,she cries herself to sleep

      She never knew the feeling was possible to be exist

      That strong ringing in the heart and belly

      The music of dastardly despair and desperation

      But there it was;as real as she,glaring her in the face

      She had given up hope but still held on so

      Maybe the universe had not forgotten her yet

      Or maybe it will just take her life still

      Ending the sad experience

      Of dying everyday.

      Love past

      How many pages have you wrote her?

      The notes that were strung in our hearts

      What you used to sing to me

      deep in our thoughts,kept away from all

      The shared secret we kept for ourselves

      Many bitter tales we had but how so sweet were the moments before

      Flourishing with memories is the mirror of you in me

      The mirror of promise though failed beautifully

      Hope and courage,paving out the way or fighting for it drastically drawn out dramas could not begin to tell our tale,

      Or the wise ones that existed only in days of old

      What should have preceded our wake?

      or the closing phase of dusk.

      I go on this journey

      I go on this journey

      In search for truth

      As I write my words in this journal

      The winds hear my prayer

      And with ease blow it above away

      The taste of freedom is near

      The height of conquests is rare

      The times I whispered in my mind

      were long long gone

      I never knew fear again.

      Beautiful love

      Beautiful love I wish for 

      Passionate songs I long for

      To fly in the air from sheer felicity

      With my heart bursting with happiness

      My mouth full with laughter,mighty laughter 

      My ditzy heart not in line with my brain

      Oh beautiful love I wish for

      Choose your path or have your path chosen for you

      What do you want your destiny to be?That is up to you to decide.Your fate lies in your ability to choose.If the chance to make a choice is neglected,other forces will have a power over your life.Life is made by our day to day decisions.We allow life to toss us about by failling to have a choice in our life path.Letting others decide what we should be hinders our path and makes us go on a make believe journey.Following the crowd is letting your path to be chooses by others.Individuality is what it takes to forge your path.

      You must decide today what you want the future to hold for you.Cherish the opportunities that come to create your own road to success.Take the chances to choose while you still have the chance.Make radical decisions that will enhance your progress.Risk it to climb that mountain you have been skeptical about.If you do not take hold of these opportunities while they are there,someone else will make all your choices and decisions for you.Making the effort now to choose your path will save you from ubeing a puppet for others to control.It will stop you from becoming a puppet for someone else to control.

      Choose your path now!

      Be like water!

      Have you ever encountered problems that you could not solve no matter how you pushed?Life moments that you tried to make better but remained unbudged, even with force?This is because of rigidity.We cause ourselves stress and pain when we try to force ourselves out of lives challenges.We often think if we push hard enough,the stone blocking our way will move.But this is not so.Being rigid will not solve our heartaches.

      Sometimes we discover that the more we push,the stronger our headaches become and the problem still remains,glaring us in the face.My advise to you is to be like water!Instead of pushing,you flow.You soften the rock with your consistency and relaxed state of mind.Like an aikido martial artist,you use the enemies strengths against them without exerting a lot of force.Act like a fish and let gliding in the water be like a second nature.

      When we are stressed out it’s because we have applied too much force,to an issue that force isn’t required for.When you are used to fixing things with force you put yourself at risk to various health and psychological issues.If things come at you avoid the obstacles with ‘ the flow of water.Taking on problems that are meant to be glided out from will add extra burdens on your plate.If you can do absolutely nothing to change a situation,do not fall into anguish and depression,instead meditate.

      Put your mind at rest and your heart at peace.Do the essential things you are meant to do and relax.If you are meant to take some medications,do so and do not worry about your illness.If you are asked to get lots of sleep,follow the instructions because laying awake pensive will not help anything.If you want to lose weight,don’t worry about your weight,follow the method you want to take and relax.Stressing over something will only give you more anxiety and heartache.

      Be like water!Flow through difficulties and adversity.Discover the easier life of not applying force.Let your heart and mind be at peace no matter the problem.Believe that the best is yet to come as you stop carrying problems along with you.Dissolve that rock in your way with the gentle,yet powerful energy of water.Let yourself be at peace!

      Life lesson learned from cooking

      I had always blamed myself for my mistakes and imagined that no one else made mistakes that I made.Seeing things from another perspective was hard to do,and after wallowing in a blaming game,I got nothing but sadness,nothing changes.At one time while preparing my dinner,I burnt the two chicken pieces I was frying.I felt like i had made the mistake that only me could make.Because I thought only I made such mistakes.

      Like it was my trademark for making silly mistakes that could have easily been prevented.Because who the heck burns chicken right?I found it easy to think that it would not have happened it i had arrived earlier or just stayed in the kitchen.Anyways,I took it down,managing to eat it by eating the unburnt parts which were underneath the burnt skin and eating the burnt path by covering it in food.

      After this incident,another food got burnt.It was not mine this time around.It was my mother’s food.The rice was left on the fire while she was busy with something else.When her attention was called to it,she rushed in the kitchen.The rice was slightly burnt and I could tell she was shocked.After all she was not used to burning food.It was not her type of mistake.I could hardly remember her burning anything.However,the food was still edible and it was eaten.

      This thought me a lesson.The fact that a more experienced person could make the same mistake that I did,put things in perspective for me.I got out of my own head,that I was the only person who makes certain mistakes.There was no mistakes that I made purely for being stupid or just being me.Sometimes mistakes just happen to happen.No mistakes were branded just for me to make like I once thought.Some mistakes cannot be prevented and just has to happen no matter your expertise or skill.

      It is nice to think of it this way,in life you must make a certain number of mistakes,and no matter what you do to prevent them,these mistakes will be made anyways.This makes It easier not to wallow in the blame game.My lesson I learned was that mistakes can happen to anyone on anything,learning and moving on are the next steps.Another important thing I learnt was to change my perception.

      Who are Old souls?

      Old souls are people with the mind,emotional and spiritual depth of someone who has lived for far longer than their actual age.These people are usually different from their peers by emotional depthness,maturity and thoughts.From an early age they had started to think deeply about things others their age could not even conceive.Old souls are introspective with an internalized perspective of the world and life generally.They are also the kind of people to probe and question all the un-niceness of this world.They question the barbarity in this world and wonder why it all exists.

      They also value wisdom and intellect.Conventional things are not of their interest,making it harder for them to connect with their peers.They are usually empathetic and find it easy to understand the emotional complexities of others,though they find other people cannot comprehend them.Seeing things at a deeper level can make them more prone to emotional hurt.They can see far below the surface of things,including seeing underneath the mask that people wear.

      They do not prefer casual relationships especially when it comes to romance,they seek a deeper connection and an abundant kind of love.This makes it hard for them to be in relationships until they find the true love they desire.Due to the inability of people understanding them,they are usually misunderstood and labelled as a black sheep or the odd duck.They generally prefer being alone and are not bored in their solace like many hyper social people might be.

      There is always something new for their great minds to feed upon.People are not really their cup of tea,so they aren’t the ones you would find trying to fit in with the crowd.They can have an eccentric or rebellious streak.Old souls are wise and caring people who only want the best for the world.They can however appear shy and anti social because of their lack of interest in the norm and people.They can appear lost and have a feeling of not fitting in.This world feels more like where they were trust in rather than their home.

      And to sum it all up with this picture

      I am an old soul.