Stockholm syndrome:Why people bound with their captors and abused people remain with their abusers


Stockholm syndrome is when you bound with your captor as a victim and start feeling trust or affection towards the person.The phenomenon has been recorded several times in history.The strange phenomenon is baffling but very common in abusive relationship and hostage situations that hold out for a longer period of time.This is what happens when the mind forms a coping mechanism for the abused.A lot of the time coignitive disonance occurs in parrallel making the survival emotional bounding stronger.

Stockholm syndrome, or capture-bonding, is a psychological phenomenon described in 1973 in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with the captors.

How you can have stockholm syndrome :

When you believe that your captor or abuser has power over you; you start to fear and your natural psychology mechanism tho protect you out of danger kicks in,causing you to act in a way that will prevent trouble and physical agression by bounding with your captor/abuser.The believe that escape is impossible thickens the attachment and need for survival in order to cope with the abuse.When one are isolated from everyone but the captor constantly,this fear grows.Also,because of the syndrome, one exaggerates every minute gesture of kindness shown to you by the captor/abuser to,justify why you are still with him/her or on your hope on how he/she can change.Any intimidating or controlling relationships can cause stockholm syndrome

Victims of Stockholm Syndrome generally suffer from severe isolation and emotional and physical abuse demonstrated in characteristics of battered spouses, incest victims, abused children, prisoners of war, cult victims and kidnapped or hostage victims. Each of these circumstances can result in victims responding in a compliant and supportive way as a means of survival.

The syndrome can be found in all types of relationships:Interpersonal relationship,family ,romantic.

Symptoms of stockholm syndrome:

The abused feels positive emotions to the abuser and sympathized with the abuser.They self- justify their abuse by saying the abuser came change or that he/she is not that bad.They feel negative emotions to friends and family members who sense what is wrong and want to help them.They feel they are trapped and cannot escape.They help the abuser while justifying their actions;sometimes many side with the captor to say the abuse is their own fault and blame the captors abuse in them to his unloved childhood,unhappiness or any other excuse fed to them by the abuser or one they can perceive to justify their abuse and coignitive disonance.

During the relationship, the abuser/controller may share information about their past — how they were mistreated, abused, neglected, or wronged. The victim begins to feel the abuser/controller may be capable of fixing their behavior or worse yet, that they (abuser) may also be a “victim”. 


In truth, personality disorders and criminals have learned over the years that personal responsibility for their violent/abusive behaviors can be minimized and even denied by blaming their bad upbringing, abuse as a child, and now even video games. One murderer blamed his crime on eating too much junk food — now known as the “Twinkie Defense”. While it may be true that the abuser/controller had a difficult upbringing, showing sympathy for his/her history produces no change in their behavior and in fact, prolongs the length of time you will be abused.

While “sad stories” are always included in their apologies — after the abusive/controlling event — their behavior never changes! Keep in mind: once you become hardened to the “sad stories”, they will simply try another approach.


In abusive and controlling relationships, the victim has the sense they are always “walking on eggshells” — fearful of saying or doing anything that might prompt a violent/intimidating outburst. For their survival, they begin to see the world through the abuser’s perspective. 

We become preoccupied with the needs, desires, and habits of the abuser/controllerTaking the abuser’s perspective as a survival technique can become so intense that the victim actually develops anger toward those trying to help them.The abuser is already angry and resentful toward anyone who would provide the victim support, typically using multiple methods and manipulations to isolate the victim from others. Any contact the victim has with supportive people in the community is met with accusations, threats, and/or violent outbursts. Victims then turn on their family — fearing family contact will cause additional violence and abuse in the home. At this point, victims curse their parents and friends, tell them not to call and to stop interfering, and break off communication with others. Agreeing with the abuser/controller, supportive others are now viewed as “causing trouble” and must be avoided. Many victims threaten their family and friends with restraining orders if they continue to “interfere” or try to help the victim in their situation.

The victim feels unable to escape as they are tied down emotionally,financially,socially.They feel frustrated and scared but unable to do anything.They fear social judgement of separation as well if the situation is in a family settings or marriage.The victim developed low self esteem.The victim finds other people to blame even if said victim is nursing broken bones and bruises from the assault.They still find a way to turn it around.

Stockholm syndrome is a scary condition that ruins lives,it controls the victim to an extreme point while the abuser gets away with further abuse.Until the victim sts him/herself free from the captor,the captor uses lies,manipulation and power for control.

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2 thoughts on “Stockholm syndrome:Why people bound with their captors and abused people remain with their abusers

  1. Very well done ! I wrote a post 12/12/2016 in response to the haters that I now have, your post confirmed many things for me. Thank you for following me and I am now following you. I actually read everything posted by someone I follow. Thanks again, Peace, Marshall

    Liked by 1 person

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